#a soulmate who wasn't meant to be
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What do you know about destiny, boy?” Kilgharrah growled, stalking towards him. “You are a stain, a ink splatter on the middle of a page. What could you possibly know about destiny?”
“I know who I was born to be. And I know who Merlin was born to be.” he looked between them, “and this isn’t our end. This isn’t even our beginning.”
The dragon laughed, as if Arthur told him a joke, an amusing fable, “then you were told wrong.”
Wrong. Arthur wasn’t wrong. He was right, and he was confident in that, because he hated that he was. What was wrong was the way Kilgharrah moved, distorted, slow, heavy. What was wrong was the way the air heated around him with the force of his breath, the way a putrid smell surrounded them. What was wrong was the look in Kilgharrah’s eyes as he watched Arthur and Merlin, the same look his father had when he looked at Arthur. Like they were part of a game. But Kilgharrah wasn’t playing this game, so why did he look at him as if he held Arthur’s chess piece in his gnarled claws?
“It is your destiny Merlin, only you can complete it.”
Merlin closed his eyes, walking toward Arthur, when he finally noticed that Merlin was holding a dagger in a white-knuckle grip. It was Arthur’s dagger. With red and blue gemstones imbedded in the handle. It was his favorite dagger, inherited from his mother. And now, Merlin had it.
Arthur watched.
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starlitrays · 1 year ago
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when jess benko said ”stranger, who knows all my secrets / can pull me apart and break my heart / a soulmate who wasn't meant to be”
??? bro i felt that shit in my bones
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kaadhal-thozhi · 8 months ago
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the internet isn't real and all my trauma happened years ago so nick i hope you're doing okay and i'n sorry we fell out so horribly. i think about you from time to time and hope your parents are doing well.
let's continue to live separately.
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jeenelagahun · 16 days ago
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Do You Really Love Me? Or Are You Just Lonely?
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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 months ago
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also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.
but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]
like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.
and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']
another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]
tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want
#winston billions#a series that did inadvertently power up the stances of someone who actually is Not a fan of ableism; abuse; authoritarianism; and cetera#real winston billions fans might also get written off the series into the ether....but hey. the power up#the ''i saw the autistic character. i saw the tour de force'' was there & it mattered#myself marked glad to be A Ruinerrrrr; to like be present where other people might be aware & even say & do things & [my personality]#throw it back to the last post like my experience going hahaha >:) but you made one mistake. decade old minivan in my name#enough to Get Outta There....but that naturally if it Wasn't that Would be an avenue of punishing / reeling people back in#hey you Stole this from me. hey winston that's Stolen Time and stolen data who give a shit. it's the principle of [we own winston]#my experience also indeed getting ''''worse'''' at being abused lmao i.e. more conflict & resentment as i was increasingly aware i didn't#deserve it. no thanks to much of anything i learned in; say; interacting with others as an autistic person lmao. hmm!#meanwhile even if exploring like Winston Having Fun Being Himself it's like one thing is just. never having the Site of that be like#first & foremost An Romance lol. like even if it's like sure someone could interpret this as romantic that's like; an extra thing#and it's not The Guideline like; not thinking that for winston to be okay he Needs to get on the soulmate track#(billions does think that lol) and like. while billions says winston Has dated (i do think they meant to imply Multiple Times in 5x05#i just think we see that they usually don't care oh so much abt continuity; certainly not across the board) & that he has a crush#like then uhh yeah sure it's like. well i can readily extrapolate then that he's had abusive dating relationships.#billions does Not put forth that someone treating winston Well is where he gets the bulletproof confidence or anything lol#just cursed like again i'm not. i'm not gonna accept [wild you dropped steph into our Visuals as like 1 Confirmed Winston Ex]#but it's also like well then any Depiction would be The Perspective....not like. the abuse currently happening & in any way that is meant#to be ''''obvious'''' & ''''convincing'''' to someone w/no idea what it looks like anyways. vs the mundane ordinary parts that speak to it#or just the ways that experience & concomitant perspective could manifest outside of it even with No look inside it#running into issues like [good thing riawin didn't even hook up or that'd be More vulnerability in an abusive relationship already]#but what if they did & Montage Of Malaise? well to even brush up against inevitable more ''blatant'' things would then either be like#well immediately move Away from that then. before or after but Exit the [current] situation. Or it'd be like. rian has to Reconsider#but a) the character absolutely does not & based on everything will not. & b) if she actually Does; e.g. in a fic. well it's about her now#but i can think of ''yeah maybe winstuk fic that is also framed with bentuk b/c it's not really about Romance & if it's like sure then why#Not presume winston has experiences w/abuse & violation aplenty b/c that's the full context for the character lol it's then still like#and here's little details in which that could Manifest that would just be [??] or unnoticed to others anyways. just like real life!!''
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dameronswife · 8 months ago
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sometimes i just think about poe and it's like. i can't believe you mean this much to me? literally ahead of tfa i just kept scoffing at the descriptions of him, completely expected to be benevolently annoyed with him or meh at best and didn't understand why everyone went off abt how oscar was attractive (like i could tell objectively, but it's rare that i find someone subjectively attractive on a deep level), and then i just. saw poe for the first time on screen in theaters and that was it. instant attraction, and then a few minutes later realizing that oh, no i'm genuinely in love with this man. instant ride or die, we just clicked. i got him on a deeply intimate level just from those few minutes of screentime he has in the movie, that nothing about him following that ever surprised me? just. yeah that's him this makes sense.
and i remember writing what was absolutely self-insert masquerading as canon where r.ey was his best friend and i genuinely meant for it to be platonic but i kept accidentally writing a little bit something more and i genuinely think looking back on it that i probably had a crush and a squish on poe? and he may have started queerplatonic, leaning on alterous (if i'm understanding the term right). like it wasn't straight platonic because i genuinely had/have such a crush on him but it definitely wasn't straight romantic at the time either (and i still have moments where i'm like. yeah i'm definitely feeling qp feelings for him and not romantic ones). and then sometime in 2017, something I guess shifted and I wrote in an oc into that same fic who had a history with him and they both still had feelings for each other and they kissed at the end of the story but didn't wind up with each other, and then i started reading reader fic for him that same year and was like. oh I actually don't mind the idea of kissing him....i kinda wanna. and i also don't mind the idea of a relationship if it's with him, i even want it?
and like ofc things went sideways from there. i stopped reading fic bc my friend made fun of me for reading it and i felt like i was doing smth "wrong" and then the gaslighting of everyone hating him in t.lj when i didn't also severely impacted my ability to be able to enjoy him properly without trying to fold up my actual opinions to 'fit in' more and feeling anxious and not getting to enjoy it, but he was still such a cornerstone of comfort for me at the time. i even wrote my first reader fic in late 2018 to get some comfort from how awful things were in my personal life and it was of him. and then t.ros happened and the fandom got so toxic along w some friend stuff that my spin in poe almost broke (or so i thought), but like?? i spent the whole next year constantly drawn to things that reminded me of poe....read a book that was compared to the st and him a lot....bought a lot of orange things without thinking about it, developed a crush on a character that's like. basically poe with the serial numbers scratched off. all until i found my way back to him at the end of 2020 🥰 and after that i started embracing reader fic again and my romantic feelings for him and then lmao the physical/sexual attraction came in like a wrecking ball shortly thereafter which was New To Say The Least, but.
eeee i don't know i ended up gushing a lot about him but i just. sometimes i really think about the journey i've had with him, and how much good he's genuinely brought into my life. i get to feel all these emotions i never thought i would!! because of him!!! i get to explore new avenues that i wouldn't be interested in or comfortable in pursuing even mentally bc of him!!! he's helped me work through various triggers for my trauma bc they feel safe with him involved? and most importantly - i wouldn't know any of my lovely friends or partners if it wasn't for him? i stuck around in the fandom bc of poe, and that lead me right to my queerplatonic partners and family. i genuinely would not!! be the same person today if i had not fallen in love with that silly flyboy december 20th 2015!!! and isn't that just love in a nutshell?
#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i don't normally gush but i'm heavily caffeinated rn moreso than i've been in months#i just!!!!!!!!! i cannot believe!!!#sometimes i worry when i like. mildly dissociate thinking about him and my love/interest in him bc one time that genuinely broke a spin bc#i realized it was not doing anything for me positively. but with poe everytime i'm just like#my life would genuinely not be as joyful as it is if it weren't for you. i would not be who i am today if it wasn't for you.#(tch. might not be here generally speaking)#i just. i really went from scoffing at him to 'oh no he's hot' to 'oh i'm in love' to 'i want to be his best friend in a really intimate#way' (cos i didn't know what qp/alterous was at the time) to 'i might want to kiss him but i wouldn't imagine myself w him'#to 'oh. actually i don't mind thinking about kissing him or being in a relationship w him. actually i /want/ that.'#to having to swallow my feelings for him to be diplomatic/avoid conflict for two years while still utterly adoring him and being in love w#him to subconsciously finding my way back to him!!!!!#and deciding with grim determination i'd continue loving him as much as i wanted no matter what anyone else said and YES that meant getting#kiss him on his pretty mouth. and shipping my self insert with him PROPERLY where they end up together.#and then realizing stuff that's less pg-13!!!! but no less mind blowing. like i had THAT setting. what the hell.#i just. what a journey.#he's my sweet flyboy my absolute beloved my best friend my starlight i love him to pieces u guuuuuuuuuuuys#i've had a lot of comfort characters over the years and a handful of special interests - none of them have meant as much to me as poe#he is genuinely a part of me and who i am he's my soulmate and i wuv him#okay i'm done#nym speaks#flyboy 🧡
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xlostxgirlxoxo · 2 years ago
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oofthwoods · 9 months ago
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STEPS TO YOU! ── ˙ ̟ lando norris !!
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 :: lando norris hates the idea of soulmates. for him, it's hard to see everyone in his life with a matching tattoo, or a timer, or the inability to see colors, while he has to be content with the fact that he may never find his perfect match. that is, until he starts to see mysterious footprints around the paddock, hinting at a path he never expected.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 :: this is my confession that my favorite soulmate!aus are the ones where they don't think they have one. the sadness of thinking you are not destined for a great love only to find out that there's someone out there for you??? mwah chefs kiss
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :: to be added.
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LANDO NORRIS WAS A ROMANTIC AT HEART.
He had a secret love for romantic comedies. Watching couples overcome comical obstacles before finding their happy ending always brought a smile to his face. Though he would never admit it, he found joy in the cliched plots and endearing moments portrayed on screen.
The Brit also enjoyed weddings. Family, friends, or mere acquaintances— it didn't matter. To him, the ceremony was a tangible display of true love that existed beyond the silver screen and scripted Hollywood romances.
Despite everything, Lando knew that he would never experience anything like it. Everyone around him seemed to have a sure sign that they were meant for great love: Carlos with his past life visions shared with his beloved, George with his key pendant symbolizing his destiny, and even Oscar, who occasionally vanished, leaving a girl in his place. But not Lando. No visions, no tattoos, no words etched on his arm foretelling what his soulmate would say upon their first encounter. He felt like an outsider in a world where everyone seemed to have found their perfect match, while he knew he would be alone forever.
As Lando's realization sunk in, it was an emotional rollercoaster. He wasn't just a late bloomer; he wasn't meant to blossom at all. In his childhood innocence, he embraced his supposed independence and declared that girls were gross and he could live without someone by his side forever. But as adolescence took over, he found himself increasingly on the sidelines, watching as close friends shared stories of connection and love, filling him with a painful mix of envy and despair.
Every tale of someone else's romance felt like a dagger to the heart, a wound that refused to heal. Lando couldn't help but wonder what he had done to deserve this solitary fate in a world where everyone else seemed to find their soulmates.
Occasionally, he gazed up at the dark expanse above, yearning for solutions. Had the universe overlooked him or was love just not in his destiny? Some claimed that soulmates were like atoms connected since before the Big Bang, their bond enduring despite eons passing. But what did this mean for Lando? Was he destined for a solitary life even before the cosmos took shape?
As an adult, Lando struggled to convince himself that he had come to terms with his fate. He told himself over and over again that finding true love was possible without a soulmate being involved. It didn't have to be some cosmic arrangement. Yet, deep down, even as he tried to comfort himself with this reasoning, he couldn't shake the desire for something more. He yearned to be uniquely crafted for someone, to be cherished wholeheartedly despite his imperfections and weaknesses.
Lando shook his head, pulling himself out of his thoughts and back into the present moment. The unforgiving Melbourne sun beat down on him, its golden rays spreading across the circuit. Heat radiated all around him, almost suffocating in its intensity. He cursed his decision to wear an orange hoodie that morning as a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. Walking from the entrance to his garage, he couldn't escape the discomfort caused by the heat. The thick fabric clung to his skin, trapping him in its grasp as the temperature continued to rise.
Beside him, Oscar emanated an infectious energy. The pilot was fully immersed in the atmosphere of his home country's race, evident through his beaming smile. Despite the hustle and bustle around them, they maintained a calm demeanor, as if they were in a world of their own, oblivious to the cameras of the photographers trying to capture every moment.
Lando observed Oscar's anxious glances, as if he was searching for a particular person.
Deciding to break the silence, Lando asked, "Has your family arrived?"
Oscar's mind seemed elsewhere as he replied, "Oh, yeah. They're here. I'm just looking for someone else."
Someone else. Lando's brow furrowed as he thought about the mysterious bond between Oscar and his soulmate. Every now and then, without warning or explanation, the Australian would switch places with the girl he was connected to. Initially, Lando feared that this could happen during a race and result in a disastrous outcome. However, he soon realized that the universe was smart enough to only make these switches when both were safe.
"You met her?" Lando finally asked, curious about Oscar's soulmate. He looked at him with confusion before smiling sadly.
"Not yet, and she's not the one i'm looking or," Oscar replied, bringing a small sense of relief to Lando. He immediately felt guilty for wishing that others wouldn't find their soulmates, knowing it was selfish and petty.
Additionally, Lando could recall a peculiar incident from the previous year, when Oscar suddenly disappeared, and a girl had surprisingly turned up in the McLaren garage, clad in pajamas and exuding an unusual calmness about the situation. He remembered her as a charming and witty girl, and the thought that Oscar had someone special to share his life with brought a comforting warmth to Lando's heart, though it was tinged with a hint of jealousy.
"I have a friend coming over today," Oscar interjected, breaking through Lando's thoughts. "We went to elementary school together, but it's been a while since we've seen each other. She finished college last year, and managed to take a few days off to visit."
Lando nodded along as Oscar talked about his friend, dividing his attention between their conversation and the busy paddock. He couldn't help but notice weird stains on the ground and wished people would be more considerate of the space.
The two McLaren pilots still had a few minutes before the first meeting and the final free practice before qualifying. They decided to take refuge from the scorching sun inside their respective driver's rooms, seeking a moment of tranquility before the hustle and bustle of the track.
Lando made his way down the narrow path to the driver's room, noticing strange marks on the floor. The team garage was typically spotless, and he couldn't comprehend how it had become so messy.
"Who the hell made this mess?" Lando furrowed his brow and glanced around the room.
Oscar, perplexed, asked, "What mess?"
With a chuckle, Lando replied, "Are you blind? Look at the damn floor, it's covered in stains." He pointed to the ground with his arm.
Oscar tried to play along, forcing a laugh. "Mate, did you hit your head on the way here? The floor is spotless, as always."
Lando's eyes narrowed as he examined the stains on the ground more closely. What he imagined was dirt from a worker's shoe, appeared to not be random splatters; they seemed deliberate, almost forming a pattern. And then, in a sudden moment of clarity, Lando's heart skipped a beat as he realized the stains looked like footsteps.
"This is strange," he muttered, crouching down to get a better look.
Hearing Lando's concern, Oscar joined him and peered at the marks. "What are you thinking?"
Lando's mind was filled with various thoughts. He wondered if the intense heat was causing him to hallucinate. A thought crossed his mind that someone had wandered into the garage barefoot, possibly in search of new shoes. Everything seemed mildly possible.
Despite his efforts to suppress it, a nagging part inside him reminded him of the nights he spent wondering about potential invisible soulmate connections. He couldn't help but recall the excitement of discovering invisible threads - like leaving colorful marks upon touch or having their thoughts connect when within a certain distance, almost like telepathy. Things that wouldn't appear on his body when he turned eight, but still meant he had someone.
The 15-year-old version of himself seemed to be pounding on his chest, making him remember the thread through footsteps that he had long forgotten about, and started to question if even existed. Yet, Oscar didn't seem to notice the distinct marks on the floor and Lando couldn't possibly be hallucinating from dehydration.
Oscar placed his hand on Lando's back and felt a shiver run through his friend's body. "Lando, you're starting to worry me. Do you want to go to the medical bay?"
Lando quickly got up from the floor, shaking off Oscar's touch. "No need, Os. I'm fine." He forced a smile, but there was a lump in his throat as he tried to swallow down the fear and uncertainty. He didn't want to get his hopes up again, only to have them crushed once more.
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"What do you think of the place?" Oscar's voice startles you from behind,.
A smile lights up your face as you turn around to see your friend in person for the first time in a long while. You eagerly embrace him with open arms, attempting to lift him off the ground like you used to when you were kids.
"Wow, okay, you're not as light as you used to be."
Oscar chuckles, and playfully returns the favor by lifting you up. "Nope, I'm not. Or maybe you're just not as strong anymore."
You tease, giving his shoulder a light slap. He winces and holds onto it, pretending it hurts.
"It's impressive." You answer his previous question. "So many people, so much noise, but I can see why you love it here." You take in the bustling atmosphere with a laugh.
The Aussie leans back against something and asks with a playful glint in his eye, "So, what's been going on in your world?"
You chuckle, immediately feeling at ease with him. "Just the usual post-grad life. Trying to figure it all out."
"Will you stick with auto sports?" He asks hopefully.
"I have an interview lined up to shadow a F2 journalist, so let's hope for the best." You make a gesture of crossed fingers. You thought that graduating with a degree in Journalism would give you direction in life, but almost a year later, you're still searching for your calling.
"It's already yours. I've never met anyone who could get honest answers from drivers like you do." He tried to calm you.
"I interviewed you once for a college project, Os. I don't think that counts." You chuckle.
"Come on, I was in f2 back then. That's definitely something to put on your resume."
"I'll keep that in mind." You nod.
It didn't feel like it had been so long since you two last saw each other in person.
As your gaze sweeps over the cluttered garage once more, something strange catches your eye, and you furrow your brow in confusion.
"Isn't Easter still a ways off?" Your eyes follow a trail of small, misshapen footprints leading around the room and you can't help but comment, "And whoever left those prints definitely didn't excel in their Arts & Crafts classes. They look nothing like bunny paws."
Oscar couldn't believe it. What was going on with his friends and footprints that day?
He squints and shakes his head. "I don't see anything," he says, trying to follow your gaze.
"Of course you don't. I've been telling you to get your eyes checked for years," you tease with a laugh. You walk over to him and point directly at the pawprint (that looks more like a footprint) on the ground that you can clearly see, even though it's slightly faded. Oscar looks at you with confusion.
"Are you and Lando in on this together?" He starts to suspect a prank.
"Lando? Your teammate?" You shake your head. "I've never even met him, Os." A mischievous grin spreads across your face. "But maybe I should."
Oscar's gaze shifted from the empty space in front of him. "Don't even go there, missy. Teammates are strictly off-limits."
You couldn't help but tease, "Why, does he have a soulmate?"
Oscar used to give you pitying looks whenever you mentioned not having a love thread, but it had been a while since then. He missed all of you - including your bad puns.
"I don't know. We've never discussed it," Oscar shuddered. He and Lando had grown closer over the past year, but the Brit never seemed to want to talk about that topic, so Oscar left it alone.
You continue to tease, "I still don't see why he's off-limits."
"Can you imagine how traumatizing it would be to see Lando making out with my best friend?"
"It wouldn't be any weirder than collecting bugs with my best friend and then suddenly having a random girl in front of me," your counterpart argues.
"Touché" It wouldn't be right for Oscar to dictate who you should pursue, especially since you had no control over randomly talking to his soulmate after swapping places. "It still would be fucking weird."
"You know, if two people saw those pawprints and you didn't, I think it's safe to say who's the one in the wrong here," You nudged him playfully. "Maybe you're just not looking close enough. Let me guide you."
Stepping closer to the mysterious prints, you crouched down and examined them closely. "They seem... fresh, don't they?"
Oscar joined you, squinting his eyes as he tried to make out any shape or form on the ground. "I swear, there's nothing there. Are you sure this isn't some elaborate prank?"
You shook your head, running your fingers over the indentations. "No, these are real."
Despite trying his best, Oscar couldn't make out what he was supposed to be looking at. "Alright, you got me. Congrats on your and Lando's little joke."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Your frustration grows as you wonder how he could have missed the obvious footprints right in front of him.
"He saw these so-called "footprints" too." He gestured with air quotes, convinced that his best friend and teammate were up to some strange prank together.
Before you could protest, someone called out your friend's name. "I have to go, it's my engineer," he said, getting up from the floor. He gave you a friendly smile that quickly turned into a knowing smirk. "And don't follow the footprints, Alice. They won't lead you to wonderland."
Wonderland or not, you would be stupid not to follow it.
As you follow the trail of footprints through the crowded garage, your curiosity builds with each step. You maneuver carefully around toolboxes and piles of spare parts, focusing on the prints as they lead you deeper into the maze-like space.
At last, you reach the end of the trail and come face to face with a closed door. Your heart races with excitement and anticipation as you stare at the sign above it: "Lando Norris' Driver's Room"
You furrow your brow in confusion. How could Norris' driver's room be connected to the strange footprints you've been tracking? Is this some kind of elaborate prank that Oscar roped Lando into as well?
Despite the nagging feeling that something was off, you stood your ground and refused to give into whatever it was that was trying to lure you in. You mentally prepared yourself to turn around and head back to Oscar's garage, where at least you felt familiar, and he couldn't pull pranks on you in front of his entire team.
And then, as if on cue, the door swings open, revealing Lando Norris standing on the other side. His presence fills the doorway, commanding attention with an effortless grace that leaves you breathless.
In that moment, you can't help but drink in the sight of him—the way the soft glow of the room illuminates his features, casting his angular jawline and chiseled cheekbones in sharp relief. His eyes, a mesmerizing shade of azure, hold a glint of mischief as they meet yours, and you find yourself drowning in their depths.
Lando is clad in his fireproofs, the sleek material hugging his lean frame in all the right places. His racesuit hangs by his waist, a vibrant burst of color against the backdrop of the room. There's a confidence in the way he carries himself, a hint of swagger that speaks of countless hours spent behind the wheel of a racing car.
But it's not just his physical appearance that captivates you—it's the strange electricity that seems to crackle in the air when your eyes meet.
Your heart skips a beat as you find yourself in a predicament, searching for a clever excuse. You definitely didn't want to appear as a stalker-fan who snuck in. "Um, I was just... uh..."
"Oscar?" Lando interrupts, a knowing glint in his eyes.
"Yes, Oscar!" You latch onto the name like a lifeline. "I'm a friend of his."
"He mentioned you," Lando nods, a friendly grin spreading across his face.
"Ah, so Oscar's been gossiping about me, huh?" You tease, a playful smirk curling your lips as you lock gazes with Lando. "I hope he said only nice things."
Lando chuckles softly, leaning casually against the doorframe. "Oh, absolutely. But he forgot to mention how gorgeous you are"
You feel a warm flush creeping up your cheeks at his compliment, and you playfully bat your eyelashes. "Oh, did he now? Well, I'll have to thank him for the rave reviews later."
An easy silence falls between you, charged with unspoken chemistry and the promise of potential. Lando breaks the quiet with a mischievous smirk, closing the gap between you.
"Care for a little tour while we wait for Oscar? I promise not to lead you astray... too much," he adds with a wink.
Despite the lingering adrenaline from the close call and the unexpected encounter with Lando, you find yourself nodding eagerly. Oscar had been too occupied to give you a proper tour, and you were itching to explore the place.
"Lead the way, but I'm holding you to that promise of not getting lost," you tease, motioning for him to lead. As he begins to walk, you fall into step beside him, the playful brush of your shoulders sending sparks flying.
"Do you have a habit of getting lost?" Lando asks with a playful glint in his eyes.
You laugh, shaking your head in mock dismay. "Define 'a habit'," you retort, a playful sparkle in your eyes. "When we were younger, Oscar and I used to roam around this massive mall near our homes. I lost count of how many times he had to page me over the speakers because I got sidetracked and wandered off."
"I'll have to keep a close eye on you, then," Lando quips. "Can't have Oscar's friend getting lost on my watch."
You chuckle at his teasing, reveling in the easy banter between you two. As he continues to show you around the McLaren paddock, pointing out various spots and sharing amusing anecdotes, you find yourself drawn to his effortless charm and infectious energy.
"You know, I never expected today to turn out like this," you admit, stealing a sideways glance at Lando. "But I'm glad it did. Especially if it means getting a personal tour from McLaren's charming star driver."
Lando beams at your words, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Consider yourself lucky, then. Not everyone gets the VIP treatment around here." He pauses for a moment before adding with a playful grin, "Although, I must confess, it's rather challenging to focus on giving a proper tour with you flashing that smile."
Your heart flutters at his words, but you play it cool with a playful roll of your eyes. "You need to work on your flirting skills, dude."
"But do they work?" Lando counters with a cheeky smile.
"Maybe. Keep trying, and who knows where it might lead."
"Ah, so you're admitting my charm has potential?" Lando shoots back, a playful glint in his eyes.
"I didn't say that," you reply with a smirk..
"Ouch, that hurts," Lando feigns offense, placing a hand over his heart dramatically. "Here I am, giving you the grand tour, and you won't even give me credit for my rizz."
"Okay, okay, maybe just a little credit," you concede with a laugh, nudging him lightly with your elbow. "But don't let it get to your head."
Lando grins. "Don't worry, I'll try to contain my ego."
As the tour comes to an end, you and Lando bid your goodbyes, thanking each other for the enjoyable time spent together. It's time for qualifying, and Lando is escorted towards his car by a member of his team. Just before he gets in, he looks back towards you with a faint smile. In that moment, his gaze locks with yours, and he freezes as a realization dawns upon him. The footsteps he had noticed earlier, weaving through the McLaren paddock, had a familiar pattern. They were from you.
He looks back to the path he took with you, and the marks on the floor as clear as day. They appear in front of his driver's room, in the small cafeteria where he took you to get the best coffee from the paddock (his words), and they follow you as you make your way to Oscar's side of the garage.
Lando's lips part slightly, as if he couldn't get enough air.
Before Lando could take a step towards you, his engineer's firm grip on his arm pulls him back. "Where are you going? Quali is about to start," his engineer reminds him, snapping him out of the mesmerizing realization.
Lando looks torn, torn between the exhilaration of discovering a potential connection he never noticed before and the responsibility of his racing career. He gives you one last longing look before reluctantly turning away, his mind buzzing with newfound thoughts and possibilities.
As he slides into the driver's seat and revs up the engine, he can't shake off the image of your smile, the sound of your laughter, and now, the footprints you left behind that seemed to lead straight to him. The engine roars to life, drowning out his racing thoughts as he steels himself for the high-stakes qualifying round ahead.
There were various theories floating around regarding why Lando secured the pole position. Some attributed it to an engine change, while others praised McLaren's performance on the specific circuit. But deep down, Lando knew that his main motivation was to finish everything quickly so he could talk to you.
He heard his engineer's voice in his ear through the radio, but he wasn't really paying attention. He knew he had interviews to do, photos to take, and a tire to sign, but as he stepped out of the car, his mind was consumed with thoughts of the girl he never knew existed.
After the whirlwind of interviews subsides and Lando returns to the bustling garage, his mind remains fixated on one thought: finding you. He navigates through the maze of mechanics and engineers, his determination unwavering.
Spotting Oscar amidst the commotion, Lando strides over, his expression a mix of eagerness and urgency. "Hey, Oscar," he calls out, drawing his friend's attention.
Oscar looks up from his conversation with a mechanic, a puzzled expression crossing his face at the intensity in Lando's gaze. "Hey, Lando. What's up?" he asks, curious yet cautious.
"I need to talk to your friend," Lando replies, his tone serious.
Oscar's confusion deepens, and a hint of protectiveness flickers in his eyes. "My friend? Why do you need to speak to her?" he inquires, his tone guarded.
Lando hesitates for a moment, searching for the right words. "I... I just need to ask her something," he says evasively, unwilling to divulge the true reason behind his urgency.
Oscar studies Lando intently, sensing there's more to the story than meets the eye. "Is everything okay?" he probes, his concern evident.
Lando shifts uncomfortably under Oscar's scrutiny, torn between his desire to find you and his reluctance to reveal too much. "Yeah, everything's fine," he assures, attempting to brush off Oscar's concern.
But Oscar isn't convinced, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive. "Look, if you're going to involve my friend in something, I need to know what's going on," he insists firmly.
Lando sighs, realizing he can't keep dodging the question. "It's just... I met her earlier, and I... I need to talk to her," he admits, his voice tinged with vulnerability.
Oscar's expression softens as he recognizes the sincerity in Lando's words. He may be protective, but he also trusts his instincts when it comes to his friends. "Okay," he relents, nodding in understanding. "She's in my driver's room."
Before Lando can make his way there, Oscar grabs his arm, a serious expression etched on his face. "Look, I know we don't talk about this, but…" He hesitates momentarily. "I don't know if you have a soulmate, but she doesn't. And I don't want you giving her false hope, only to disappear the moment someone mentions what's on your arm, or whatever."
Lando offers a reassuring smile. "You're wrong."
"Listen, I don't care if your mark is on your arm or your ass, my point was-"
"It's not about that. It's about her not having a soulmate," Lando interjects.
Oscar's expression turns grave. "What do you mean?"
"Footsteps," Lando responds simply.
Oscar's frustration bubbles to the surface. "What's going on with both of you? First, you mention footsteps, then her." He glances at his teammate, who meets his gaze with a serene smile. In Lando's eyes, there's a glimmer of hope and relief that Oscar can't quite comprehend. Initially, he considers escorting both of his friends to the medical bay, puzzled by their strange behavior regarding footsteps that only they seem to perceive—
Footsteps that only they can see.
A sudden realization dawns upon Oscar, his eyes widening. "You two are soulmates."
"Hopefully," Lando murmurs. "I—I never thought I had one. No marks, no dreams, nothing. But this morning, I saw footsteps. And then we met, and I showed her around. We were side by side, so I didn't pay much attention. But before Qualifying, I noticed her walking toward your side of the garage, and there were footsteps leading there."
As the realization settles between them, Oscar reluctantly releases Lando's arm, allowing him to continue on his way. However, just as Lando begins to move away, Oscar calls out to him, his tone a mix of seriousness and jest.
"Lando, wait," Oscar says, his voice tinged with playful threat. "Soulmate or not, if you ever hurt my best friend, I'll make sure to crash into you in every single race."
Lando stops in his tracks, turning back to face Oscar with a wry smile. "Fair warning," he replies, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. "But I can assure you, if I ever did hurt her, I'd deserve every crash."
The Brit's heart races as he stands before the door, realizing he doesn't need to ask Oscar about the girl when the footsteps guide him straight to her. He wonders if he'd ever noticed those phantom imprints before, dismissing them as mere smudges or dirt. And in a fleeting moment of clarity, he wonders if those same invisible marks had led you to his door earlier, tracing a path he hadn't noticed until now.
As Lando hesitates outside the door, uncertainty gripping his thoughts, he contemplates his next move. Should he pace back and forth until you notice the traces on the floor? Or perhaps he should boldly declare their connection as soulmates upon entering? Before he can settle on a plan, the door swings open.
"Wow!" You exclaim, your initial fright giving way to laughter. "Okay, I probably deserved that. Second time's the charm, right?"
"Uhm," Lando's throat constricts, his words stumbling over each other. In his mind, this conversation had seemed much simpler. "Look, I—I need to ask you something. Do you… have a soulmate?"
Your gaze hardens, but it's not anger that flickers in your eyes, only a hint of sorrow. "We just met today," you confess, your tone tinged with vulnerability. Lando realizes it might be an invasive question; after all, some people prefer to keep such matters private. "Is it that obvious?"
"Yes. I mean, no. I mean—" Lando fumbles, his nerves getting the best of him.
"It's alright, I understand," you say, crossing your arms with a sad smile. "You do?"
"I do," Lando confirms, gesturing subtly to the scattered footsteps that crisscross the room.
"Cool," you respond, your expression disoriented.
"No, wait, that's not what I meant." Lando's frustration mounts as he struggles to articulate his thoughts. Was this what it felt like to be stupid in love?
"It's okay, Lando, really," you reassure him gently. "I know some people like to have... fun before finding their soulmate. I won't judge you for that." Yet beneath your understanding tone, a pang of sadness lingers, the thought of forever being a mere diversion rather than a final destination.
"Listen," Lando interjects, laying his hands gently atop yours, a jolt of electricity coursing between them once more. "Earlier today, you saw those footsteps, didn't you?"
"Actually, yes," you reply, confusion clouding your features. Oscar had vehemently denied their existence, leaving you to question your own perception.
"Me too. I saw footsteps this morning. Then I noticed footsteps leading towards Oscar's garage," Lando reveals, his voice soft with emotion. He silently pleads for you not to notice the trembling in his hands. "And now, I see footsteps again. Emerging from the door and heading toward the couch. A circle of them, right in front of the television."
As Lando confides in you, his vulnerability palpable, you begin to piece it together. Your eyes widen in realization as you look around. Although you can't see the invisible footsteps he's describing, you can distinctly perceive a path, stretching from the door to where Lando stands before you.
"Every step leads me to you," he murmurs, his gaze locked on yours with unwavering intensity.
A tender smile graces your lips as you absorb Lando's words, a rush of warmth flooding your chest. "I never thought I had a soulmate," you confess softly, your voice tinged with wonder.
Lando's own smile mirrors yours, a mixture of affection and amusement dancing in his eyes. "Look at that, one thing that we already have in common," he replies, his tone gentle yet playful.
You share a moment of quiet understanding, the air thick with unspoken emotions swirling between you. It's a realization that defies logic yet feels undeniably right, as if the universe itself had conspired to bring you together. Well, it did, didn't it? Maybe you should apologize for all the times your cursed at it.
"And here we are," you say, a hint of awe coloring your words.
"Here we are," Lando echoes, his gaze never leaving yours.
A mischievous glint twinkles in your eyes as you playfully tease, "You know, when I suggested you keep trying to flirt with me, this wasn't exactly the outcome I had in mind."
Lando chuckles, his grin widening. "Well, lucky for me, there's no one I'd rather up my game with than you."
You laugh, feeling the tension ease between you as the playful banter continues. "Smooth talker," you tease, giving him a playful nudge.
"Just stating the truth," Lando replies, his tone lighthearted yet sincere. "Besides, you will have to deal with it for the rest of your life."
Your heart skips a beat at his words, the playful façade giving way to a deeper connection between you. "I suppose you have a point," you concede with a smile, feeling yourself drawn even closer to him.
Lando's eyes light up with mischief as an idea sparks in his mind. "You know," he begins, a playful grin tugging at his lips, "I've spent my entire life thinking you didn't exist. I have a lot of making up to do."
Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise at his bold statement, but a smile tugs at the corners of your lips, intrigued by his playful demeanor. "Oh really?" you reply, a teasing glint in your eyes. "And just how do you plan on making it up to me?"
Lando's grin widens as he leans in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Well, I was thinking we could start here. I can't really go out, but my hotel has an amazing restaraunt" he suggests, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "After that... Have you ever been to Monaco? Or Italy? Maybe after that, we could..."
You can't help but laugh at his enthusiasm, charmed by his playful spirit. "I say you're full of surprises, Lando Norris," you tease, interrupting him, a playful sparkle dancing in your eyes. "But I like the way you think."
A bashful smile graces Lando's lips as he chuckles softly. "Great," he replies, his tone now tinged with a hint of shyness. "I've got a meeting to attend, but after that, how about we meet back here?"
"You'll know exactly where to find me."
As warmth floods through Lando's heart, a tender smile graces his lips. In that fleeting moment of realization, it dawns on him—he'll never doubt your existence again. Not when there's a trail of footsteps leading him straight back to you, a path he'll eagerly follow time and time again.
Lando Norris is a romantic at heart. The universe, in all its wisdom, understood that he deserved nothing less than the greatest of loves.
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fun fact i actually hate this
taglist (tell me if you want to be added or removed. crossed names means i couldn't tag you) :: @saturnssunflower @sopheeg @minkyungseokie @alexander-hamilhoe @butterfly-lover @cool-ultra-nerd @tomriddleswhorecruxes @everbizzare @chonkybonky @styl1shl1v
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teapot-of-tyrahn · 3 months ago
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Cleo: “I mean… Scott’s always one of my favourite people, and I don’t think we’d ever attack each other unless it was, like, y’know, you-guys against him. That’s it. Team first, you know me, but Scott’s… Scott’s always on that second tier of people I don’t attack.”
Etho: “He’s your Bdubs, basically.” Cleo: “He’s my Bdubs, yeah.”
(22:19 from Cleo's THE YELLOW TEAM - 08 - SECRET LIFE)
gusys i don't know what tot ell you ....... he's ltiearilly their bdubs ... HE'S LTIEARLLY HER BDUBS ‼️❗️
Round 2, Match 6
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the one where arthur tries to hide merlin’s unintentional magic with minimal success
He was sure now that there was no way Merlin was evil because of his magic, it was simply not even in the realm of possibility. Arthur was now wary of the new problem which was somehow not letting Merlin get himself killed because he insists on being utterly ridiculous and using his magic in the castle walls of Camelot. “Arthur,” Merlin began slowly, glancing up at him over his written list of chores. 
Arthur attempted nonchalance, continuing to get ready for the day, “yes, Merlin?” 
“Why must I do all of my chores in your room with the door locked, and why is there only half a page?” he gestured toward the writing with exaggerated movements. 
He shrugged, examining a cup that had no need for examination, “I don’t have a lot that needs doing today.”
“...and doing them in your rooms with ‘every door locked including the servant's halls’?” 
“You get distracted easily enough, think of it as a battle strategy for you to finally get your chores done in a timely manner. Honestly, Merlin, you should be thanking me.”
Merlin gives him a slow nod, placing the piece of paper down, “right… are you okay sire?” 
“I’m perfectly fine, and I expect my orders to be followed exactly. I’ll be back after practice,” and with that, he left the room, locking the door on his way out. He heard Merlin’s yells after him echo through the halls that he resolutely ignored. 
---
“Arthur, honestly, there is no need for me to wear stilts,” Merlin grumbled while Arthur maneuvered a pair of two pieces of wood unto the bottom of Merlin’s shoes. “We are practically going on a glorified walk—”
“It’s not a walk, Merlin, it’s patrol,” he grumbled, yanking Merlin’s foot back toward him as he tied a rope in a few hundred knots; he wanted the only reason Merlin fell being because Merlin wasn’t born with a right foot and not because the stilts broke off. 
“Patrol then,” Merlin digressed, before adding; “where we take a walk around the border and look for something to fight, is not an occasion for stilts.” 
Arthur panicked, struggling to find a good reason, before too much time had passed and he blurted out, “I am the prince, Merlin, I can do whatever I please.” He rolled his eyes so heavily Arthur was sure they’d continue rolling straight out of his head. 
In all honesty, he was terrified the other knights might notice the flowers that grew behind Merlin wherever he walked in the grassy fields, which was all patrol took place in. So maybe, if his feet don’t hit the ground, maybe the flowers won’t grow. 
He was wrong. 
---
“I know you say my swordsmanship is embarrassing but is this really necessary?” Merlin asked, dragging his sword against the ground in a way that should drive Arthur crazy but he only found endlessly amusing. 
Arthur brought them deep into the woods for their daily sword fighting lessons, hidden in the thicket, so no one could lay eyes on the quick movements Merlin displayed once he got into the repetitive movements of sword fighting. Once he relaxed, thinking of nothing but swirling his sword to meet Arthur’s in a clanking cymbal in the air, his movements became too fluid, too quick. 
“Yes, it’s necessary, Merlin, I can’t have anyone know my own manservant can’t even raise a sword above his head without giving himself a haircut,” he griped, finally settling into a small clearing, circling the area for a moment until he found the best place to stand until Merlin interrupted him. 
“Do you really have to go in circles like a dog about to nap?” 
His head snapped up, “I’m trying to find out how flat the ground is, Merlin, forgive me for trying to make sure you don’t trip in a hole and shatter your delicate little ankles.” 
“My ankles are not delicate nor little,” Merlin began with a growing smirk, “just because you have a little more round your middle doesn’t mean I’m tiny—” and with that he tackled Merlin to the ground, hands grappling skin as their shirts rucked up from the friction of the grass. 
And if Merlin won their impromptu wrestling on the floor of the forest away from prying eyes with movements too sharp, too fluid, then none but Arthur had to know. If the reason Merlin won wasn’t actually because of the magic coursing in his veins, but rather because Arthur realized with a start and furious blush that traveled down his chest that Merlin’s shoulders had broadened out over the years since they first met, then none but Arthur had to know.
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yanderefarm · 2 months ago
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yandere cultist but its omegaverse
cw; religion, cults, yandere themes, omegaverse
ill post the introduction for him later too. ive had this idea for a minute i thought it was fun. u always see yandere cult leaders wheres the yandere followers who act the way they do because they're following what they were told. wheres the yandere cultists who have been convinced that you're their chosen soulmate and will do anything to prove it to you.
also i got the dominant thing from a yaoi manhwa i dropped i don't remember what it was called but im sure this trope isn't original to the verse i just put my own spin on it
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you're what's called a "dominant" alpha, it's not anything to do with your role in the bedroom and more the strength of your traits. rut inhibitors and scent blockers have no effect on you while you struggle with interest in typical omegas. but because of the rarity of the condition it wasn't often taught about in schools. trying to find a "dominant" omega on normal dating apps was practically impossible.
that's why you turned to more conservative dating apps. less likely to find people who thought dominant omegas meant strap ons and muzzles and more likely to find people who thought the term dominant omega was a sin. while you don't agree with them an omega is a whole lot easier to reason with.
thats how you met him. he was a beautiful boy with long blue hair and lovely floral dresses. all his pictures were either clearly church pictures or candid shots of him working on a farm. all you really needed to see was the marked off dominant omega trait at this point but him being a cutie was a bonus.
you checked to make sure he was what he said he was and then you two hit it off immediately. he was shy but he used the cutest emojis, lots of hearts and sparkles. you found yourself talking to him every second of every day, completely enamored by the sweetheart he was.
so when you asked if you could finally go on a date in person you were surprised to find your stark differences reared their head. you had to meet his dad before you could go on a date. sure. he's made it no secret that he's a sheltered religious boy. the comment he also added about ensuring his purity was intact was unneeded but you could get past it. he's a good person.
he's a good person who happens to live in the same Happy Homes compound you had just watched a video essay about. you were surprised... and horrified. still as creepy as the place was you were too attached to him at this point to just abandon him here. if he couldn't be convinced to leave that's one thing but you hadn't even tried yet.
his family was warm and welcoming, a few uncomfortable comments and his eldest brother wouldn't stop glaring at you but that's not unique to them. it was a relatively normal farm house surrounded by identical farm houses. what could go wrong?
you had dinner with them and they even invited you to church with them. you knew you weren't about to be convinced to join the cult so you agreed. his father let you borrow some nice clothes and you ended up taking your boyfriend, his mother, and one of his sisters in your car.
the sermon was. boring. nothing uniquely offensive that you wouldn't find in any conservative religious church. the surprising part came with the announcements. the pastor, a beta dressed in white ushered your boyfriend and 4 other omegas onto the stage.
he talked about a plan, a calling each of them had from god. they were each supposed to bring wayward alphas to the church to join them in the house of god. yeah, you could get the gist and before you could even try to stand up one of the other boyfriends did so. he was talking about how this was bullshit and he didn't buy into this crazy crap. and then he collapsed. you watched as 2 others joined him in either death or unconsciousness.
the pastor ushered you onto the stage and your boyfriend's brother dragged you up by the arms. your heart was pounding in your ears and the lights above were glaringly bright. you barely noticed when your boyfriend's arms wrapped around your own.
"and you too shall enter the happiest homes. may god bless you."
you felt your mind go numb and the next thing you knew you were on the floor.
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thedivinetarot · 3 months ago
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He said to be cool and I know he means it
How do you view men?
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☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?
1) Close your eyes.
2) Clear your mind
3) Take a deep breathe.
4) Ask the question in your head and the picture you are drawn to the most is your pile.
☆ Note:
- First thing is Thank you guys for 100 follower. I'm so happy that our family is growing fast. I'm also grateful that such a wonderful souls are following me here on tumblr, may God bless you❤.
- In this reading we are going to dig into your deep subconscious mind on your views of men.
- This reading is going to help you at where you stand in your opinions and views towards men.
- Also it will help you discover the hidden parts of your subconscious mind and your behavior towards men.
- This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest.
- Pile three can be triggering for some, so if you are not comfortable reading it then don't.
- This reading can't substitute any psychiatrist help. So if you have a problem you can ask for a professional help.
Stay safe ❤
Arya
☆ This reading well be divided into three questions:
1) Your past relationships with men.
2) Your subconscious beliefs about them.
3) How does all of that affect you currently?
Pile 1 - Walking Sylvia
Your past relationships with men:
I see that this pile held into a connection that was not meant for them. I see you getting attached to someone you thought it was your soulmate or twin flame but it wasn't really the one. I see also that you kept persistent and stubborn especially in front of others. It is like you bet with your friends or people around you that he is the one but everyone know that he is not. If this is not the case I see that you were dating or in a relationship with someone who is considered a safe option but wasn't really that good for you as a person. You might have your planets square their planets in synastry chart. I see that your first role models (Your caregivers or parents) wasn't really that good either. They might stayed together but they clearly should've been divorced too long ago. I see that you hated the dynamic between them and you always wondered if you'll get the same or not. And now you look back at the men you dated and feel cringe? I don't know pile one. Maybe you feel nostalgic to the feeling but not the person. I see that you are someone who prefers predictability over getting out of your comfort zone. So, you might dated multiple "safe options" to not get triggered by the new or unpredictable people. You might even rejected the idea of traditional role in the relationships, like the dom-sub or feminine-masculine or the men who provide financially. You also might dated people who have 50/50 mindset or feminine boys. Or boys/men who are not considered attractive but they were a safe option for you.
Your subconscious beliefs about men:
Ooh pile one, I think your subconscious belief about men is that they are a disappointment. I see that you might have a male caregiver who didn't make you feel safe enough to be in your feminine energy. This caregiver might made you feel like you are not enough; physically, mentally, or in general. This man made you feel worthless and no one would really care for you. So, you grew up trying to earn this attention by being hyper vigilant in your relationships with men. You might give and give too much even for the options that is considered "safe". And you might overthink everything you do or say around men. You might say "Damn why did I say that!" Alot Or "Do I look ugly or deformed for him" because he didn't look at you, after each interaction. And if not, some people in this group wore an iron mask in front of men. You wouldn't show emotions or any expression around them. But deep inside you are a little girl screaming and crying. People in this group might have self worth problems. You might overdo your make up, overdress yourself etc. This subconscious belief kept you stuck in the same old patterns and made you superman in the relationship with men. As I said before; you might got mad or angry at the traditional roles of the male and female relationships. And tried to be the initiative person in most interactions you had with men. Another subconscious belief is you'll be miserable alone? Pile one loneliness is something normal in this generation, everyone feels lonely but please don't let this loneliness affect your relationships. Don't go for good guys or "safe options" if you feel like they are no good for you.
How does all of that affect you currently?
So, all of this affect you currently by isolating you from romantic interactions. You might be someone who has been alone for too long. I see that you took this period of loneliness as a reflection period and reevaluated your old relationships. Like right now you are discovering what you truly value and want in romantic relationships. I see that this period of isolation and loneliness is slowly going to be over. I'm not seeing any romantic offers coming to you, but definitely I'm seeing you are slowly putting yourself out there. I also see that you are working hard and being persistent with yourself. You might just moved out from your parents house or wanting to settle down on your own or wanting to live in another place or change your location. I see you now being more in your feminine energy. You might have rejected that idea before but now you are slowly accepting the fact that you are good on your own but a good company won't hurt. You might be putting yourself out there, and getting to know people with no strings attached. I see that you are enjoying yourself truly and feeling calm and collected more than before. You might started to realize that you need to be more assertive of your current life. You might be someone who say "I'm the master of my own fate now". So, yeah you might also realized that your life needs you more than you need anyone.
Pile 2 - Sylvia laying on the towel
Your past relationships with men:
I see that this piles collective are mostly happily married women or new bride. I see that you either got married to the love of your life and feeling so happy and excited to spend the rest of your life with them or you have a happy marriage and a loving spouse in general. I see that you also might be pregnant with a baby girl and this girl will have water placements? (Pisces, cancer or scorpio). Anyways this pile’s energy towards men is so reassuring honestly. I don't really see that you have a bad relationships with men. You might be someone who is considered beautiful or pretty by social standards so any man who dated you wished that he could marry you right away. I see that you have a traditional relationship with men. You might be someone who date for marriage and if not then you might date for potential rather than money. Or you might want to start dating for marriage. I see that men always crush on you and they feel this urge to protect you and make you happy. I see that you are the type that make any man want marriage and other stuff. Like if a player met you and got the chance to know you, he might suddenly want to marry and have kids right away. You have this energy of "I'm the perfect wife". You might be a great option for men who want to settle down. They see the potential in you, the kids, the home you'll make. I guess this pile didn't really face bad things regard dating or perhaps most people in this pile are already married to their twin flame or soulmate. I see a lot of love and happiness (I'm so happy for you guys🥺).
Your subconscious belief about men:
This pile is a complete sweetheart to be honest. I see that you see men as great leaders and as someone who is going to guide you through your life. You might have a lot of taurus or libra placements or just your feminine energy is quite balanced. Also I feel that your sacral chakra is balanced or a little hyperactive? You might really care about men's pepe size? Omg pile two I feel turned on for no reason, do you perhaps fantasize about sex a lot? You might view sex as something sacred or extremely important for your well being. You might feel or like the sex between you and your partner a lot. I don't know why I got into all of these sexual stuff all of sudden. But I feel like subconsciously you might view men as sexually satisfying? You might had a great sexual companions or you just like that in general. I also see that you like assertive and wise men, men with a great vision of the future. Sex and men is something important in pile two's life. You might have the lover archetype? You can search that btw. But generally your subconscious thoughts about men are good I don't really see something bad, perhaps there's a thing but it is not considered bad. You might get attached to your partner? Perhaps, you might get a little obsessed with your partner. Not too much just a little. Or you like depending on them a lot. There's nothing wrong with being dependent but don't let that affect you whole being.
How does all of that affect you currently?
Okay, so I do see that this pile is very dedicated to their partner. I see that you might be someone who always keep in check of their partner's needs and wants. You also work simultaneously on making their partner satisfied and happy. I also see a very confident energy from you pile 2. You may be very confident in who you are, you may not be just beautiful but also with good personality. I see that you are nurturing and sweet when it comes to your family and partner. You make them feel comfortable and appreciated. I see that your spouse or partner feel on cloud 9 with you. They feel grateful for meeting you and keeping you in their life. I also see that you are someone who cares a lot for children. You take extra mile to help them and make them feel seen and heard. You might also have the mother archetype as a secondary function within your personality (search for the archetype if you don't know them). I see that unlike some people you chose you partners wisely and above all you stick for them through thick and thin. You are a marriage material pile two, may happiness always stay on your side.
Pile 3 - Sylvia on the beach
Past relationships with men:
Pile three I see that you are obsessed with manifesting your SP? Or you might try to manifest someone back into your life? I see you trying to manifest either an Ex or or someone whom your relationship with wasn't good for you but you thought it was so good. I pulled a confirmation card and and yes; you and this person might have distance between you two. Okay in this pile I am picking up on three energies, the first one talk about manifesting an Ex back. The second is manifesting someone with a specific traits and the third energy is for LGBTQ? I think some people in this pile kinda prefer women. I see that this pile have dated both gender or you were in a marriage with a man but it turned out to be so stressful for you, I also see that this pile might have realized that they prefer another gender? Like you might be someone who has been dating men for ages but then you crushed on a woman and now you are dating. I honestly see that scenario too, another scenario is that this pile didn't really get along with people from the opposite gender so you grow up liking women (the same gender as you) or even becoming a lesbian? I understand pile three (men are stressful). You might be a fire sign (Aries, Leo and sagittarius) or Air sign (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius), or you have those placements in your chart. I see also a strong Gemini energy too so you might be someone who is bisexual or gay in general. Or someone who really doesn't care about dating any kind of gender. I don't know why this came in so strongly. But feel free to take what resonates okay pile three?.
Your subconscious beliefs about men:
Woah, the cards kept jumping like crazy. This pile’s energy is so strong. Anyways I see that you have many toxic subconscious belief about men pile three. You think that men are a pure disappointment and that you need to keep your relationship with them as professional as possible. I think people in this pile might work in a field that requires them to always interact with men and if not. You might work in a teaching field or you might be a teacher yourself. I see that you have fantasized about weddings and wearing the perfect white dress but not to a man. You might like the idea of marriage but not marriage itself. I also see that some of your parents weren't really in a good marriage (financially) so you grow up in poverty or poor. I see that men aren't really interesting in your own lens pile three. I see also that you might be afraid to get in a relationship with a man because you are scared of getting used and left out. This pile seriously need to heal from abandonment wound, ooh I get it now! You might be someone who got abandoned by their male caregiver? I see that you might never met your real father or your father have left you in the dark so you grow up poor and fatherless (I'm so sorry pile three, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings). I see also that you might fear men deep down and fear being vulnerable with them? So you chose women as romantic interest (there’s nothing wrong with that). Anyways, you might have developed a close relationship with female friends and caregiver in general. So, you grew up rejecting men and not truly liking them. The moral story for this pile is to heal your abandonment wound and forgive yourself pile three, I'm getting this image of a girl doing destructive behaviors so she can never feel the pain of abandonment inside.
How does all of that affect you currently?
I see that you guys have a very unrealistic expectations from others and your own self. Even in the same gender relationship, you might be putting your standards so high that no one really can meet them. So, people might have called you picky with whom you date. This is funny idk where it came from but I think men called you a gold-digger because you have standards pile three (I respect that sm). I see that you enter a relationship with high expectations; at first both parties (you and your partner) at some point were able to meet them but then boom, you break up because you both have different views and well, expectations. I see that this pile can literally move on in a blink of an eye. You guys have a very chaotic energy, that's what I'm feeling. Also you might be a serial dater? Or you might be someone who is generous with giving or don't give at all but I see it is coming from you pile three especially in the money matter. You might be a little immature in the heart matter. I see that you might always get disappointed with how things are in your romantic relationships. I'm picking up on someone who's on a roller-coaster emotionally. I think you guys need to reflect and on your values and learn the lessons from your previous relationships, because it is literally causing you a lot of destruction in your life. Try to get in the hermit mode for a couple of months, try solo dating, reflect on your own values and what you truly want and appreciate in a partner and one day you'll be able to see the light coming in and you'll definitely find someone who will make you happy. And if not you have yourself, and as the wizard Liz said "You have you, you’ll never leave you" and I think it is beautiful. Try to watch her videos on YT she is a gem❤. God bless you pile three, take care of yourself.
Pile 4 - Sylvia Smiling
Your past relationship with men:
Okaaayyy, so I do think this pile are my lone wolf pile. This pile’s energy is soooo detached, especially from reality. I see that you haven't really had any real or physical connection to men. You might be a virgin because I feel like you never truly got engaged sexually with men before. You might be single since birth and the only interaction you had with men was a faraway crush, you don't care about real men, you are the girl who crush on fictional characters. I see that you are in your head most of the time. You fantasize about fictional men and /or your crush. You might be someone who is too shy to date or even have a romantic connection with someone even if they are interested. This pile gives off the damsel in distress vibe. Want to be saved by her fictional man rather than real one. You have a strong personality pile 4, you might be so independent in real life but when it comes to your imagination? Holy moly, you are so in love with fictional men and you want to be saved by them. I'm hearing "A man that do not exist", And if you are not like that you might be limerent on someone, yes, you might be a virgin and never dated but you had a crush on someone and it grew into limerence. Because I see that you are detached from the situation but in your head you are living and breathing this fantasy. Perhaps if you suspect having limerence you can read about it because it is not a crush. Crushes are short termed but limerence can take years to wear off. You might be even hesitant to talk to that person and if you do I don't think much really happen between you two. You are giving me the vibe of that one movie of Audry Hepburn, the movies name was Sabrina you can watch it if you want. It literally describes you perfectly. You might be also so sophisticated and diplomatic with males in general.
Your subconscious beliefs about men:
It is not about men, more about you pile 4. As I said above, you are very independent and detached. You do your own thing and you live the way you want. I see that this pile doesn't really like the idea of committing to something, you are free spirited and genuine. You might have the wild woman archetype, so genuine and raw. I see that the beliefs you are holding into are 1) I need to be constantly working on myself. And 2) I need to be independent so no one can control me. I see a very sweet energy but bold at the same time. Maybe like pile three you might have abandonment wound, especially from your father. He were there and not there at the same time. He might be dry with you emotionally, I see that he was there physically and financially but emotionally? Alas. He might made you feel rejected or left out in the cold; so, as a coping mechanism you started maladiptive daydreaming to escape the pain. This pile need to do shadow work tbh (you can search shadow work prompt on pinterest if you want to). I see you escaping to your own little fantasy world to not feel the pain of abandonment, healing is required to be able to form strong bond with men. And above all, realistic relationships with them. This pile is not destructive at all unlike pile three; their energy was so destructive, like they are dumping out all their trauma on constant dating and other destructive methods. I see this pile is very creative, you might be INFP,ISFP, INFJ, ISFJ and very small group are ENFJ. I am seeing creative with sharp tongue. You might be honest too. I see that you are an earth sign (Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn) or have those placements, some of you may be an aquarius too.
How does all of that affect you currently?
I got you pile four, you may lie about your marital status? Like if someone approached you because they like you, I see that you'll lie to them about being taken. You might tell those men that you are in a relationship? I see you using this method so you can run away from unwanted attention. You might not like the attention of the men who approach you in general. I see that some people in this group are constantly manifesting their future spouse, and you are waiting for him to materialize in you 3D? And if not then I see you being so intuitive about who you are going to marry. This pile is witchy; You may be a witch or a tarot reader and you know who your future spouse is. I see that you are waiting for them to be in your life. This pile are so in their head, like in reality they are so detached, closed off and passive. But behind the scenes you guys are constantly manifesting your spouse or a specific person to marry you. I see some of you have already lost faith in manifesting that person and others quit that too long ago, because nothing really happen. I see that you are working on yourself (self care, workout, etc). And focusing on your own thing (studying, going to school/college, working your 9-5 shift). But mentally you are imagining many scenarios on how you'll meet them and how they are going to be like (future spouse or SP). I see that many people in this pile are young like literally under 28 years old or even under 30. Guys I see that you might get the person you want but you do really need to get out of your comfort zone. And embrace change, I see that many of you are either introverts or have passive personalities in general. You might not have many friends or a very tight social circle. You need to face reality and be more assertive of what you want in relationships pile four.
Thank you for reading, take care❤.
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Post date: 28th/Aug/2024-Wed
*Feedback is appreciated
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hawkinsbnbg · 2 months ago
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Steve was a late bloomer. He didn't expect to present as an omega right after seeing a bloody Eddie Munson into the ER.
His biological changes weren't a problem at first. He found his perky tits and even newly-slit cunt easily acceptable. They just felt right on his body.
His peace only lasted until he visited Eddie in the hospital and slicked his underwear beyond repair.
It was embarrassing and also pathetic because he was quite certain Eddie didn't want him that way.
He knew the alpha just flirted with him for fun like everyone else.
To fix it, Steve began wearing scent blockers religiously, dressing in more layers, and using pads to keep his slick from leaking out and ruining the sterilized air.
So far, it was a success. No one batted an eye when he got a little wet whenever he sat beside Eddie's bed.
Even Robin—his platonic soulmate who had always been in tuned with him—didn't pick up his inappropriate behavior.
As for Eddie, the alpha just became friendlier with him; kissing his hands, giving him more flatteries, hugging him tighter and longer than the others, etc.
Though Steve was flustered by the new development, he reminded himself that it likely meant nothing to Eddie.
Still, he couldn't stop finding excuses to see Eddie nearly every day.
Eventually, Eddie was discharged, went through every PT session with admirable strength and determination, and recovered beautifully.
They held a party to celebrate it and Steve was rosy cheeked with joy when Eddie stuck by his side the whole time. And even followed him everywhere like a lost puppy.
It was cute.
Even though Robin kept saying otherwise.
Eddie seemed to decide they were best friends now. Because wherever Steve went, the alpha would be right beside him.
Steve didn't find it as annoying as he had thought. Since Robin and Vickie were in their moonstruck phase, she couldn't spend as much time with him anymore.
He was happy for her, but it was also kinda lonely. A problem that Eddie's constant presence had quickly resolved.
They would hang out and do everything together; cooking, doing chores, listening to the music, watching movies, getting high, and even sleeping.
It wasn't right for an unmated omega to get so close to an unmated alpha, but their bond ran deeper than their carnal instincts. A few cuddles wouldn't hurt their friendship.
Or so Steve told himself.
Because he had to change his panties at least thrice a night before going to bed to not disturb his friend with his situation.
"Where are you goin'?" Eddie muttered sleepily just as Steve tried to get out the alpha's arms.
On the other hand, his body had been acting weird lately. Producing more slick than usual and becoming more sensitive.
It might be his fault for letting Eddie into his nest all the time, but it wasn't like he could help it, either.
Jesus. Even Eddie's raspy voice already made his cunt pulse with want.
Steve felt thankful that he didn't give up his scent blockers. Otherwise, he'd no doubt smell like a bitch in heat right now.
"Nature's call," Steve mumbled, frowning slightly when Eddie's hold just got tighter around him and the musky scent grew thicker.
"'S your slick, isn't it?" Hot lips pressed to his ear, making him stop cold. "Yeah, I can smell it. Been wanting to taste how sweet you are, omega."
Steve gulped dryly, his brain turned hazier and hazier with lust. And yet...
"W– Why didn't you say anything?"
"And chased you off?" Eddie chuckled and squeezed a hand between his thighs, feeling his wetness and scratching his clit lightly through the cotton. "No way, baby."
Steve closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath, choking on the scent of a very aroused and virile alpha.
He didn't know why his blockers didn't work, but the heat of Eddie's palm on his clothed cunt was distracting enough that he just stopped questioning it altogether.
"Be gentle with me," he craned his neck to meet those dark wild eyes.
"You got it, angel," Eddie rolled him on his back and kissed him sweetly. "Gonna worship your pretty cunt for the rest of my life."
And Eddie did.
Eating him out every given chance and everywhere; on the bed, in the kitchen, in the back of the van, on the couch, in the shower.
And when Steve's heat arrived a few days later, Eddie had happily stayed up all night just to suffocate in the sea of slick before knotting him over and over again in the morning.
Which, consequently, triggered the alpha's rut and led to Steve being kept in bed for another week.
And by the end of it all, he was thoroughly bred and ravaged.
Eventually, Steve figured it out once they became mates. His blockers still worked just fine.
Eddie was the problem.
He was a horn dog who had sniffed out Steve's slick and got addicted to it.
But fortunately, Eddie had agreed to make do with his used panties whenever Steve was too sore to let him near his cunt.
The only problem was that Steve now had to guard his favorite pairs very closely.
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etfrin · 11 months ago
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❝ꜱᴏᴜʟꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ❞ — prologue | coriolanus snow
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「ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ:」 NSFW | coriolanus is his own warning, mentions of death, elitism, self harm (Coryo burns his wrist)
「ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ:」 young! Coriolanus Snow x fem! Reader
「ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ:」 eight year old Coryo finds out who his soulmate is and his feelings about it
「ᴀ/ɴ:」 this is the first official post about this series that I started on a whim! I am excited to see where this goes, please give me feedback, thank you!
series taglist | series masterlist | navigation
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It started with Sejanus. Despite being friends with the boy, eight-year-old Coriolanus Snow couldn't help but loathe the fact the boy had District blood.
Sejanus' presence in the Capitol Academy was an insult to all of Capitol. He couldn't comprehend how it was all allowed before he heard the whispers. Sturbo Plinth bought his way in with money.
Money. The one thing a Snow should be entitled to and yet has none of. Even the power his name held was dwindling. Coriolanus will do anything to make sure ‘Snow lands on top'.
With that vow, Coryo gently brushed his thumb over the tattoo on his wrist. A number, something of significance for his soulmate. Whenever he felt overwhelmed, he traced over the dark lines. He felt instantly calm.
Everything is going to be alright.
His soulmate will be a princess, a goddess, a rich Capitol girl no one can compare to. He will have a happy ending with her. Snows will rise on top, and his girl will be beside him every step of the way. The First Lady of Panem as he will be the president.
He vividly remembers the day all of his hopes were crushed. It was a couple of weeks after Sejanus started attending the academy. The boy was mocked by everyone, and Coriolanus thought it was deserved, a district boy was nothing more than an animal.
Then came the district girl, this one from District One, the district closest to the Capitol. But still not the same. The girl from the district was the prettiest he had ever seen. Although she's district. She had claimed the hearts of the teachers, and in return received many privileges. It was rumored that even the dean had a soft spot for her.
It was understandable why. She was a girl with a sweet smile, a secret sharp tongue, and hidden cruelty in her eyes he wasn't sure anyone saw except him. Her eyes always softened when she looked at him but she was always friendlier with Sejanus. Pea in a pod sticks together after all.
It was a bright day, a hot summer making him sweat in his uniform more than the walk to the academy did. That was the day he felt his heart break, and soul crushed. It was completely by accident. Sejanus and you thinking that maybe, you were soulmates. And Coriolanus thought so too, after all, you both were so close, attached to the hip.
Coriolanus felt like he was intruding into something private whenever he was near you both. With your shared giggles and secret smiles, you were as close as children could be.
When you raise your shirt sleeve revealing your soulmate's tattoo, the date is meant to be the most significant to your soulmate. Sejanus didn't recognize it but Coriolanus did, much to his nightmare.
It was the date most important to him. It was the day of his mother's and unborn sister's death. The day he lost someone he held so close to his heart. That's the number etched on your skin.
No. No! He grabbed your wrist, ignoring your yelp and the protest from Sejanus. His eyes were wide and he felt his body shake. “No. . .” He whispered, a sob in his throat.
“What's wrong?” You asked, trying to get your hand out of his hold, and due to his weak, underweight body, you did it easily enough. You rub your wrist and wait for Coryo's answer.
You don't get one because Coriolanus Snow had turn away and begun to walk away from you and Sej.
When he reached his home, his body was shaking and fat drops of tears falling from his eyes. A district girl as his? Never, never in a thousand years. His dead father would have been so disappointed. He refused to accept her as his.
He won't. Ever.
Tigris tried to ask what happened, but Coryo ignored her. He went into the kitchen, turning on the stove. The fire burned blue and orange. He didn't hesitate, ignoring the scream from Tigris as he put his wrist forward. He bit his lips to not scream himself.
By that time, Tigris had pulled him back. The skin had burned, along with it was gone the soulmate tattoo of his. He let himself sob as Tigris tried to fix him up as much as she could. She didn't scold him, couldn't, when he was crying like he had lost everything, all of his dreams shattered and the reality had settled in.
This was ten years ago, he decided he had no soulmate.
Now as eighteen, he wondered if it would remain true.
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next chapter!
Taglist: @tristanswildcat
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kizzer55555 · 6 months ago
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Super Dead Soulmates
In this universe, any injury or scar you sustain appears on your soulmate. However, for as long as he could remember, Danny never gained an injury that wasn’t his own. When he was very young, his parents would always say that he was just a late bloomer and perhaps his soulmate was a few years younger than he was and thus, just wasn’t born yet. As Danny grew older, they got more absorbed in their work and just seemed to forget about the whole ordeal. Danny never asked them about it again, afraid they might think a ghost had ‘cursed’ him or something. It was hard enough to hide the lack of additional scars at school. Luckily, most people don’t get injured very often so it was easy enough to play off some of his injuries as that from a soulmate. The only ones who knew the truth were his sister and his best friends. Danny was just convinced that he didn’t have a soulmate and had accepted that fact, even if it hurt. Then the accident happened and for once, he was thankful his soulmate wouldn’t have to feel his pain. And even more so when he started to fight the other ghosts daily. Danny was content to live like this, but with more ghost fights, his injuries started piling up. Danny excused them saying that they were from his soulmate. It didn’t completely get rid of the scrutiny but most people bought it. Afterall, how else would puny Fenton get those kinds of bruises? So for a while, that excuse worked…until someone realized that Danny and Phantom’s injuries linked up (I vote Wes). Now normally, the natural conclusion would be that Danny and Phantom were the same person. But due to the fact that one of them was dead and the other clearly alive, everyone gained a new theory…that Phantom was Danny’s soulmate. It would explain the recent injuries as Phantom was often seen fighting other ghosts. And to be honest, this was the perfect cover. It’s not like Danny had an actual soulmate who might show up and this added another layer of protection against people thinking he and Phantom were the same person. So Danny remained silent and let the rumors grow. Sure people now thought he and Phantom were dating but that was fiiiiiinnnneee. (But BOY was that an awkward conversation with his parents). 
And then Kon was born.
As a clone, all he knew from the outside was implanted into his mind. He knew the color of the sky, the sound of music, academic equations and a lot of common knowledge such as soulmates. He knew that injuries were shared between a bonded pair and that everyone had a soulmate. But he was different. He wasn't born a baby and grew up alongside another person. He wasn’t even real according to some people. Yet one day, he noticed bruises lining his arms, he was confused. He should have had impenetrable skin like Superman. As far as he could remember, his skin had never been pierced before. And it’s not like he fought a godlike being that day. He shouldn’t have any injuries. Kon decided to ignore them but the injuries kept showing up. It got so bad that his team started to notice and sat him down asking if everything was alright with his powers or if he was exposed to kryptonite somehow. So, very confused, Kon had explained that the injuries just kept showing up. It was only after his team gave him a curious look and explained the concepts of soulmates did everything click with him. Sure, Kon knew about soulmates but surely that couldn't be what this was! He was a clone! He shouldn’t have a soulmate. It was impossible! But after a few more days of observation and a bit of testing, everyone determined that this was, in fact, a soulmate bond. 
To say Kon was ecstatic was an understatement. Actually, it was a mix of excitement, nervousness, worry, and joy all rolled into one. He was elated at the idea that he had someone meant for him. Someone who would accept all of him. Kon had looked at the others and there had always been a slight jealousy when he saw a paper cut bloom on their fingers or see them rub a bruised knee fondly. 
But more than anything. He was happy because this was proof that he was real. Afterall, a soulmate wouldn’t match with him unless his soul was equal to theirs. His body almost melted with relief at that realization. A weight off his shoulders he never fully grasped was still there. 
Of course there was the worry of why exactly his soulmate had so many injuries. For a hero, it was obvious they would get injured (although they tried to have as much protective padding as possible to limit that possibility. But some injuries still got through.) Yet the amount of injuries Kon’s soulmate sustained were far more than that (because Danny lacked proper padding  and didn’t think he had to worry about a soulmate. Most injuries looked worse than they were anyways due to his fast healing). And on the contrary, Kon’s skin was perfectly clear. With his kryptonian biology, even if he got hurt, it never left a mark. So all the injuries and bruises sustained on him were purely from his soulmate. And there was enough for two people. On the bright side, it helped with his cover, on the downside, Kon started to worry about his soulmate. (Meanwhile, Danny didn’t notice a difference. Sure, sometimes he would feel a temporary ache or sharp pain but no mark was left so he just assumed the pain was sore muscles from a previous battle or that one of his rogues were hitting harder than he thought.) 
As for Kon, he and his team used every resource at their disposal to try and track down Kon’s soulmate. They did this for every member of the team as hero soulmates were in more danger than most but they paid special attention to Kon’s soulmate due to the rapid accumulation of injuries. 
Kon would fantasize on what his soulmate would be like. Would they be tall? Short? They would probably be able to fight. Boy or girl? It doesn't really matter. Kon knew opposite gender soulmates were more common but he wouldn’t mind a guy either. His days were filled with dreams of a mystery person. Someone he could hold in his arms and protect. Who would comfort him after patrols and who he could introduce to his friends. 
After a while, Tim finally found a lead. Some doctor records of a boy in a small town called Amity. Apparently he was prescribed pain medicine to help with ‘soulmate injuries’. The lost of injuries were extensive and after looking at some pictures, they realized that his scars and Kon’s scars lined up. A perfect match. So it wasn’t long before they made a quick road trip to Amity. 
This place was already on the Justice League radar. It was a town that appears to have a permanent portal to the afterlife and was attacked often. (Which might explain why Kon’s soulmate was so injured). The Justice League had not interfered yet because the town had a local hero as well. Someone who seemed good at his job and who Tim was even thinking of recruiting. So this was a good opportunity to hit two birds with one stone. Afterall, not much was known about this mysterious Phantom other than he dedicated his afterlife to protecting this one town. Once they got to Amity they would probably need to check in with Phantom before anything. And despite his impatience with finding the person who might be his soulmate, even Kon was excited to meet this hero. Apparently Phantom had vast experience but also a major power set. He might gain another flying buddy or someone he could wrestle with without worrying about his strength. Afterall, Phantom also supposedly had super strength and even if he didn’t, it’s not like you can kill a ghost. Yet no matter how hard they looked, they couldn’t find him. It was only by coincidence that they stumbled upon Danny instead and his group of friends. 
The first time Kon saw Danny, it was like coming home. He wanted to do nothing more than rush to his soulmate and hug him and vow to always keep him safe. He wanted to prove that he would be the best soulmate ever and he wanted to know everything there was to know about him. He was practically vibrating where he stood in his civilian disguise and it was only his friends that held him back from flying over and surprising the poor boy.
But before he could do anything, a ghost attacked. Kon barely had enough time to grab his friends and dodge when some kind of glowing creature crashed into a building. And while normally he would immediately find somewhere to change, Kon’s first instinct was to check on his soulmate, only to see the two people he assumed to be the boy’s friends but no sign of Danny. Frantically looking around, he didn’t notice the glowing creature behind him (was that a dragon?) but before it could reach him, another glowing figure intercepted the attack. They looked almost ethereal with white hair softly floating in the air and a suit that hugged his muscled form tightly. The figure turned around and gave a sheepish smile towards Kon. “You ok?”
And it felt like for the second time that day, Kon was rendered breathless. 
Someone was protecting him.
Someone was protecting him?
Yet it felt…nice. Warm.
Before Kon could gather his thoughts though the battle picked up in earnest. He and his team found cover and changed into their suits. When they came to help, the person Kon assumed to be Phantom looked surprised at their sudden appearance but it wasn’t long before he and everyone else started working together. Unfortunately, actually fighting the ghost seemed to be impossible. Whenever they got close, their hits just passed right through so Phantom quickly regulated them on defense and citizen protection duty. Occasionally getting a hit in when the creature was tangible. Watching Phantom fight was something. Kon could understand why he was elected to join their team. He had this sort of grace and power that couldn’t be explained in words but was clearly from the experience of many battles.
Despite not being able to do much, fighting with Phantom was fun. They seemed to be completely in sync and it wasn’t long before Kon started to enjoy his loud commentary and puns as the two ghosts fought.
However, one particularly hard hit made it so that the dragon’s claws grazed his chest. Leaving three shallow gashes, but Phantom took the close proximity that attack gave him and sucked the creature into…a soup thermos?
But Kon wasn’t focused on that. He was wholly focused on the stinging pain suddenly coming from his chest, underneath his untouched uniform that clearly had not been hit. Kon didn’t know how to process what was happening. Everything suddenly became louder and he vaguely tried to move but it was like his mind became mush as he tried to process what that meant. He managed to get away for a bit and undid his shit, looking down to see three shallow scratches along his chest. Scratches that perfectly mirrored Phantom. In the corner of his eye, Kon saw a head of black hair and witnessed as Danny reunited with his two friends he had been separated from in the chaos. And as Danny twisted to hug them, his shirt flipped up enough to see another identical 3 scratches along the boy's stomach. Perfectly mirroring Phantoms. 
It was only later that Kon and his team did some more research on the town and it’s ghosts and learned the unofficial secret that Phantom and Danny were dating. That Phantom had Likely come back from the afterlife to protect the town his soulmate lived in. On the bright side, at least now he could confirm Danny really was his soulmate. And he knew where all those injuries were coming from.
Kon had found his soulmate.
Correction, he found his soumates
And they were already bonded to each other.
….so where did that leave him?
There are now two options. 
1: Kon decided that he just needs to woo both his soulmates and starts doing so both as Superboy and as Conner. Danny is very confused who these people are (because as far as he knows, he doesn’t have a soulmate, and since Kon doesn’t visibly show injury, there is no sign (unless Danny somehow injures himself in a place that is visible but he’s been trying to avoid that to make everyone worry less.)). Kon goes all out. He gets flowers, chocolates, writes poetry (whether good or not doesn’t matter) starts wooing Phantom in hero form, showing off his strength and skill whenever possible. (And unfortunately, also his dork side when he isn’t paying attention while flying) Asking to hang out, insist on paying for everything. Danny sees this tall Hunk who is paying attention to him and he doesn’t know what to do. And there are TWO OF THEM! (Also, in this version it might be funny if people suspect Danny and Phantom are dating but don’t know for sure and since they are never around each other, people might assume they just don’t know. So Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are all for Danny possibly starting a relationship with Kon along with Kon’s team who are cheering them on and trying to help the poor clone boy who has no experience with romance. Meanwhile literally everyone else in the town who likes Phantom is trying to run interference and get Danny and their hero together. 
2: The angst option. Kon decides that the fact that he has two soulmates who are together is likely a result of him being a clone. It’s not that he had someone waiting for him (how could he think someone was waiting their whole life just for him? How stupid was he?!) Kon had just hijacked a different bond. So he tries to stay away. Unfortunately, Tim had talked with Phantom while Kon was out of it so now they have started to team up. This makes avoiding him very difficult as he keeps running into Phantom. Moreover, he runs into Danny because they need him for the ghost hunting equipment. And slowly but surely, Kon falls in love with ‘both’ his soulmates but doesn’t want to get ‘between’ them. And Danny wants to know why one of his new teammates is avoiding him.
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#Kizzer55555 ideas#Super dead soulmates au#Danny x Kon#Danny x Conner#Kon is having an identity crisis and Danny helps but then makes it worse.#At one point Danny might figure out clones and decide to have ‘Phantom’ and ‘Danny’ in the same place. Kon sees this and almost combusts.#Kon’s team are the ultimate wingman’s/wingwoman.#Tim is deep diving into research and planning dates. He has a board covered with red string on how to make this work.#It’s scaring some people.#I don’t know if this is young Justice or teen titans so I was vague while writing it. Choose whichever team you like best!#All I know is that this is the version of Kon with all of Superman’s powers. I want him and Danny to have flying races.#Danny is oblivious.#Kon is in permanent gay panic mode.#Kon gets super protective of both Danny and Phantom.#At some point Phantom comes into contact with blood blossoms so that’s going to be fun. :)#The reason They talk to Danny is because he’s Phantom’s ‘supplier’ for Ghost hunting equipment.#Secret third option: they find Phantom first and bring him to the team and Kon thinks he’s his soulmate after seeing matching injuries and#gets closer to him as a friend but doesn’t know how to breach the subject. Then they go to a ‘supplier’ for Ghost equipment that Phantom#Trusts and meet Danny. And then something happens where they see how ‘Danny’ and ‘Phantom’ are ‘soulmates’.#Then you can deviate to the angst version or wooing version.
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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 8 days ago
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P.S. Do You Still Love Me
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Han Jisung x Fem!Reader
Pt2
メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ
Introduction: Dear Y/N.
メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ
The apartment felt different when you walk in. It was quieter- like everything was holding its breath. Not how it usually felt when you walked into Jisung and Minho's shared home. You dropped your bag by the door, kicking off your shoes, and putting on the fuzzy slippers Jisung had bought you, and almost immediately spot Jisung standing by the window. It was raining when you arrived, the raindrops banging on the window like 1000 tiny fists. He had his back to you, staring out at the street below, and he didn’t turn around when you called his name. But even so you could already imagine the somber expression he was wearing.
You loved Jisung so much it was almost as if you knew him better than himself. You could sense when he was sad, angry, bitter. You didn't often need for him to enunciate his feelings, since more often then not you could tell by the brightness in his eyes, or the turn of his lips.
“Jisung?” you said again, a little louder, your voice soft still. He still didn’t move. The way he stood- rigid, with his hands shoved deep in his hoodie pockets -made your stomach twist. Something was upsetting him deeply, and it hurt you that you didn't know what was wrong. You took a step closer, your heart squeezing slightly because you were feeling a distance between you like a wall you couldn't see.
A distance that there never was before.
“Do you wanna talk?” There’s a tiny crack in your voice, and you hated it. He usually answered right away, always turning to you with an easy smile that made you feel like everything was going to be okay. His chubby cheeks squished into a sign that told you that you were worried for nothing. But now? Nothing. Just silence.
He finally moved, just a little, but it was enough to make your heart drop in anxiety. “Yeah,” he said, his voice rough. Like he'd been crying. “We need to talk.” There’s no warmth in it. It was robotic.
He doesn’t look at you, and every second of silence was like a weight pressing down on your chest.
You tried to smile, to make things feel normal, but it was like he was somewhere else entirely. “Okay,” you responded, sitting down on the couch. Your hands were shaking, so you tucked them under your legs. Scratching the surface of the couch cushion below you, hoping Jisung didn't see how anxious his mood was making you. You didn't want him to worry about you. “What’s going on?” Your legs shook slightly as well, and you mentally cursed yourself, because you knew Jisung would easily be able to tell how much this troubled you.
You had been drawn to Jisung since it seemed like he was the only one who brought you peace. You didn't think love was something that just amounted to the feeling of butterflies- rather you felt love went even deeper than that. That your soulmate was someone you could feel butterflies and complete peace with simultaneously.
He's still stared out the window, his face turned away, and you couldn’t tell if he was trying to find the words or if he was just avoiding the question altogether. “I… I can’t do this anymore,” he blurted suddenly. His voice was so flat, so empty, and it took you a second to even process what he meant.
“W-What?” You blinked, feeling the ground drop out from under you. “What do you mean, Sungie?”
He wasn't looking at you. You didn’t think he was even really there, in the moment. He just took a deep breath and kept going like he had rehearsed these words a million times in his head. “I can’t be in this relationship anymore,” he said, and it was like he was talking to the wall, not you.
You felt like you were stuck in a bad dream, like everything was happening in slow motion. “Jisung, don’t say that,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice steady even though you felt yourself breaking inside. “We can fix this. Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it.”
He shook his head, finally turning around, but refusing to meet your eyes. His head is faced downwards, and you could see the small tufts of curl in his straight hair. You couldn't help but internally smile at the cuteness, knowing the boys must have recorded something today, and his hair must have fallen back to being flat right as he stepped into the humid air. “No, we can’t.” His voice cracked, and he looked up for a moment. And for just a second, you thought you saw something in his expression- a flicker of regret, maybe, or guilt. But it was gone as soon as it was there.
“Why?” you questioned, tears starting to blur your vision. You stood up and reached for him, desperate, but he stepped back before you could even come close to touching him. “Is there someone else?” Your voice was eerily calm as you voiced the question, tucking your hands behind your back meekly, as if you were so willing to accept the fact there could be another person he was seeing.
So calm that your reaction hurt Jisung.
The question hung in the air for a split second, and you saw his whole body tense up. His eyes went wide, and he finally looked at you fully, panic flashing across his face. “No,” he shot, too quickly. “There’s no one else.”
How could she think there was another? How could she think I'd find someone to replace her- how could she seem okay with the thought of that-?
You nodded, biting the inside of your cheek to stop it from trembling. You didn't believe him, but you didn’t push. You didn’t want to make this any harder than it already was.
“Okay,” you whispered, forcing a tiny smile even though you felt like you were dying. “If that’s what you want.” Your voice was sad, but accepting. As if this was always meant to be.
And Jisung knew you were holding back an onslaught of tears. And he selfishly prayed you wouldn't begin to cry, because his resolve would break in an instant.
He would take back the words he so desperately needed to take back- but so desperately needed to say. For you.
It was all for you. Always.
This. This was what was best.
His face crumpled for just a second, but then he turned away again, shoulders hunched. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, and you could barely hear his weak apology.
“Jisung,” you say, and your voice cracks. He still wouldn't look at you, and you hated it- you hated that he couldn’t even face you when he was ripping your heart out and stomping on it. “I know I said okay, but I lied." You whimpered. "Don’t do this. Please. I-I can change whatever you need me to change...I'll do better...if I did something wrong I can fix it. I just love you-"
He just shook his head, biting his lip so hard you thought he might draw blood. You wanted to reach out and ask if he was okay, baby him, like you always did- shower him with love and affection like it was your job- but you held back when you saw the resigned look in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, and it sounds like he’s saying it more to himself than to you.
You don’t know what else to say. You don’t even know if there’s anything left to say. So you just stood there, feeling your eyes burn with unshed tears, watching him retreat further and further away from you. “Goodbye, Jisung,” you said quietly, and the word felt like it’s tearing you in two.
He didn’t answer.
He couldn't. He didn't have the willpower to look at the heartbreak on your face and go through with the breakup. So instead, he faced away from you, so he didn't have the chance to open his mouth and say those three words that meant everything and more.
You turned to leave before you could change your mind as well- change your mind and decide to throw yourself at him and beg him to truly reconsider.
But you wouldnt. If this was what he wanted than you would do that for him. You loved him enough to let him go.
Because that's what love was, wasn't it? Doing something to ensure your partner's wellbeing; even if it hurt you. You let the door close behind you with a dull thud that echoes in the silence.
"I love you, Jisung." You murmured one more time before you left. "Always."
メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ
Three Months Later
メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ
The studio was dim, wrapped in shadows from the soft glow of LED lights that hung loosely from the walls. Jisung was laid out on the small, threadbare couch in the corner, staring blankly at the ceiling. His eyes were red and swollen, dried tears staining his cheeks. The headphones were still on his ears, but whatever music he had been listening to had long since stopped. Crumpled sheets of paper littered the floor around him, and an empty soju bottle was tipped on its side near the foot of the couch.
Minho stood in the doorway, his fingers resting lightly on the doorframe, watching the familiar scene play out yet again. Jisung seemed smaller than he remembered, fragile and almost swallowed by the darkness of the room. It pulled him back to that night three months ago- the beginning of it all -when he had first noticed just how far his friend was falling apart.
He remembered those late hours at the dorm, the way Jisung’s muffled sobs had carried through the thin walls, even when the rest of the world was silent. Minho had pushed open the door to Jisung’s room with the softest of creaks, careful not to startle him. Jisung had been at his desk, hunched over with his head buried in his arms, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. A cheap pen, the same kind you used to buy for him, was clutched tightly in his fist as he scrawled furiously across a page already smeared with ink and tears. It felt like hours before Jisung even looked up, and when he did, his face was a mix of pain and exhaustion.
Minho had watched in silence as Jisung tore the page from the notebook, crumpled it into a ball, and shoved it into a shoebox he kept under his bed countless times again and again. He had shoved it so forcefully, as if he couldn’t stand the sight of his own words. The box was already overflowing, stuffed with letters and notes that Minho knew were never meant to be sent. He knew they were for you. There wasn't anyone else Jisung would have been writing to. Back then, he hadn’t had the courage to step in.
Back then he just stood there, leaning against the doorframe, his chest aching with the weight of his friend’s grief. It had been different that night- worse. Jisung had retreated so deeply into himself that it felt like there was no reaching him, no matter what Minho said or did.
To be honest, he didn't think it could get this bad. He saw the breakup as something Jisung would have gotten over. He was the one who had initiated it, so it didn't make sense in Minho's head that Jisung beat himself up so much about it.
But now, months later, it was all somehow worse. Jisung’s pain had only grown, festering in the silence of the studio where he spent almost every night. He didn't even bring himself to go home back to their shared dorm. Minho often had to bring him clothes to change into. The emptiness in his eyes haunted Minho, who could only watch from a distance, helpless to drag his friend back to the light.
Wishing he would have tried to earlier.
The floor behind him creaked, and Minho turned to see Chan slipping quietly into the room. He moved with careful steps, scanning the scattered papers and the mess that surrounded Jisung’s still figure.
“He’s still here,” Chan murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. There was a heaviness to his words, an exhaustion that made Minho’s chest tighten. It was as if the two were parents, watching their child go into a downhill spiral.
Chan bent down to pick up a few of the discarded papers, smoothing them out and stacking them on the desk, but he didn’t dare look at Jisung. There was a sense of grief in the room, a weight that neither of them could lift no matter how much they wanted to.
Minho’s eyes flickered to the shoebox half-hidden under a jacket by his desk, remembering how Jisung’s face had looked that night when he had first shoved a crumpled letter inside. It was the same look he had now, lying on that couch with his eyes shut tight, pretending he was anywhere else but here.
Chan stood for a moment longer, looking around the studio as if searching for some sign that Jisung was still truly there. His gaze fell on Jisung’s limp figure, his breath hitching when he saw how gaunt and hollow his friend looked- like a ghost of the bright, energetic boy he used to be. He set the papers down gently, the small gesture feeling almost pointless in the chaos that had become Jisung’s world.
With a glance, Chan’s eyes met Minho’s, and they both shared a silent understanding. They knew they couldn’t force Jisung to talk, couldn’t drag the truth out of him. He had walled himself off, a prisoner to his own pain, and all they could do was wait and hope he’d eventually come back to them.
Minho moved first, stepping deeper into the room and kneeling down by the edge of the couch. Jisung didn’t stir- his chest rose and fell with the rhythm of shallow breaths, but there was no sign of life behind his closed eyelids. Minho reached out, hesitating for a moment before resting his hand gently on Jisung’s shoulder. He was shocked by how bony it felt, how the muscle had wasted away over the past months, leaving behind only shadows of the person he once knew. It was to the point even Stay's were commenting on his figure- someone so thin to begin with thinning even more was enough to cause panic.
No one outside the group and management had ever known Jisung was in a relationship. Many speculated since during that year and a half, Jisung's smile was brighter, wider, and he was glowing in a happiness that only love could bring. But it was never confirmed, and looking at the young boy now, maybe that was for the better.
"Jisung-ah," Minho said softly, his voice strained. He was certain Jisung could hear him- he wasn’t asleep. But he didn’t move, didn’t open his eyes or acknowledge that anyone was there.
Chan shifted his weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortable with the silence. He walked back over to the cluttered desk, where Jisung’s laptop was half-buried under more crumpled notes and empty snack wrappers. Gently, he started to tidy up the area, as if restoring order to the mess might somehow reach the member who held a special place in his heart, might bring a sliver of clarity back to him. But it felt futile, and everyone knew it.
"How long has it been?" Chan finally asked, his voice low and hoarse.
Minho’s hand dropped from Jisung’s shoulder as he stood back up, his eyes never leaving the boy he once thought capable of healing. "Three months." Minho said, the words tasting bitter and hollow in his mouth.
In that time, Jisung had become a stranger even to his closest friends. He had cut himself off from everyone, burying himself in his work, hiding behind the four walls of the studio where he thought no one could see his pain. But the members all saw it- very bit of it -and it broke their hearts.
Chan let out a heavy sigh and leaned back against the desk, his hands gripping the edge. "He can’t go on like this," he muttered, almost to himself. "This…whatever this is, it’s going to destroy him."
Minho swallowed hard, his eyes blurring with unshed tears. He knew Chan was right. Jisung was spiraling- sinking deeper with every passing day, and no matter how much they tried to pull him back, he only drifted further away. It was heartbreaking- something that was worthy of Minho shedding tears for.
"He’s already gone," Minho said quietly, the words a painful admission. Jisung had given up, had let himself disappear in the darkness of his own making. There were moments- brief flashes -where it seemed like he might return, but they were always fleeting, always lost before they could hold on.
"Do you think she still…?" Chan trailed off, his voice breaking, unable to finish the question. But Minho knew what he was asking -if you still loved him, if there was even a chance that you could bring him back.
"I don’t know," Minho said, his voice rough. He wished he had the answer, wished he could offer some kind of hope. But you were gone, and Jisung was the one who had pushed you away.
From the couch, there was a slight movement—so subtle that they almost missed it. Jisung’s fingers twitched, curling tighter around the hem of his hoodie, and his lips parted as if he were about to say something. But the words never came.
Chan’s eyes drifted to the shoebox again, his expression softening. He had seen it before- had noticed it every time he visited Jisung’s dorm, but he never asked about it, never dared to touch it. It was Jisung’s secret, and they had all learned to respect the invisible boundary that surrounded him. But there were moments when he wondered what was inside, wondered if the letters were the only things keeping Jisung tethered to the world. Wondering what the content of the letters to who he assumed was you were. Maybe they held the answer on how to help him.
But he wouldn't cross that boundary.
The studio fell back into silence, save for the faint hum of the air conditioning and the soft shuffling of papers. The weight of Jisung’s grief filled the space between them, thick and suffocating. Minho wanted to reach for him again, to shake him, to do anything to break through the barrier that had built up between them, but he knew it wouldn’t help. Jisung had made his choice, had let go of the one person who might have saved him, and now he was paying the price.
With a heavy sigh, Chan crossed the room and sank down onto the floor next to the couch, his head thudding back against the wall, the dull sound filling the silence as he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to ask the question that had haunted all of them for months, but he couldn’t stop himself. It was eating away at them- the mystery of why Jisung had let you go, why he had suddenly decided to end the relationship that everyone thought was perfect.
It didn’t make sense, not to anyone who had seen the way you and Jisung had looked at each other, not to anyone who had heard the way he used to talk about you like you were the best thing that had ever happened to him.
"Why did you do it, Jisung?" Chan finally asked softly, barely above a whisper. "Why did you let her go when it's so obvious you love her?"
Minho tensed beside him, his eyes flickering to Jisung’s face as if expecting some kind of reaction, some flicker of emotion, but there was nothing. Jisung lay still, his chest rising and falling in shallow breaths, his face blank. For a moment, it seemed like he wouldn’t answer, like he would keep pretending he was asleep, keep hiding in whatever world he had retreated to. But then, his lips parted, and his voice came out hoarse and cracked, like it hurt to even form the words.
"I don’t know," he said, his voice barely more than a breath. "I don’t know why."
Chan’s brow furrowed, frustration building inside him. That wasn’t an answer- not really. He wanted to shake Jisung, to demand the truth, to understand what had happened. It didn’t make sense, not when he remembered the way Jisung’s eyes used to light up every time he saw you, not when he remembered the way you used to make him laugh like no one else could.
"You don’t just end a relationship for no reason," Chan pressed, his voice firmer now, tinged with a note of desperation. "There has to be a reason, Jisung. What happened? Did something happen between you two?"
Minho shifted uncomfortably beside him, his hand moving to grip Jisung’s wrist, a silent plea for him to open up. Jisung flinched at the touch, pulling away, his eyes squeezing shut as if he could shut out the world, shut out the questions, the guilt, the pain that had consumed him for months. He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing as he forced out the only words he could manage.
"It was better this way," he said, his voice breaking. "She… she deserved better than me."
Minho’s grip tightened, his knuckles turning white. He wanted to scream at Jisung, to tell him he was an idiot, that he had made the biggest mistake of his life, but he couldn’t. Because he could see it now- he could see the self-loathing that had twisted itself around Jisung’s heart, the fear that had driven him to push you away. It wasn’t about you, not really. It was about him- about his own insecurities, his own doubts, the belief that he wasn’t enough.
But that didn’t make it any easier to hear.
Before Chan could respond, the studio door opened again, and Felix poked his head inside, his expression wary. He had heard their voices from the hallway, had felt the tension in the air as soon as he stepped into the building.
Felix stepped inside, his footsteps hesitant, like he wasn’t sure if he was welcome. He glanced at Jisung, at the crumpled figure on the couch, and his heart twisted painfully in his chest. It was hard to reconcile the boy lying there now with the Jisung he used to know- the Jisung who had been so full of life, so full of love.
"I saw her you know," Felix said quietly, his voice trembling. "A few days ago. She asked if you were okay...she still watches the lives and our promos...she said you...you look sad."
Jisung’s entire body tensed, his fingers clenching around the edge of the couch cushion. He didn’t open his eyes, didn’t move, but they all saw the way his breathing hitched, the way his throat worked as he fought back whatever emotion had risen inside him.
"I didn’t tell her anything," Felix continued, his voice gentle, almost apologetic. "I didn’t know what to say. She sounded…worried. Like she still cared."
Minho’s jaw tightened, his gaze never leaving Jisung’s face. He had seen you a few times since the breakup as well and had seen the way your smile never quite reached your eyes, the way you always seemed a little lost, a little broken even when surrounded by people. It had hurt to see you like that, to know that Jisung was the reason, to know that he had done this to you.
"She still loves you," Minho said quietly, the words hanging heavy in the air. "You know that, right? Even after everything, she still-"
"Don’t," Jisung cut him off, his voice raw and desperate. His eyes snapped open, and for the first time in months, he looked alive—angry, hurting, and alive. "Don’t say that. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve her love. I don’t… I can’t… just don’t."
"Hyung." Felix pleaded. "You're scaring us."
Chan felt his chest tighten, his heart breaking for his friends- his family- but especially for the boy who had loved too much and not enough all at once. He had known Jisung for years- had seen him through every high and low, every joy and sorrow, but he had never seen him like this. He had never seen him so utterly defeated, so lost in his own grief that he couldn’t even see the way out.
Felix’s eyes were wide, glassy with unshed tears. He wanted to reach out, to comfort Jisung, to tell him that it was okay, that they would get through this together. But the words felt empty, meaningless in the face of Jisung’s pain. Instead, he just sat down on the floor beside Chan, his presence a quiet support, a reminder that he wasn’t alone—even if he felt like he was.
"I wish you’d talk to her," Chan said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just once. I think it might help."
Jisung shook his head violently, his eyes squeezing shut again. "I can’t. I can’t face her. I don’t…I don’t want her to see me like this."
The room fell into a heavy silence, the weight of unspoken words pressing down on them all. They didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to pull Jisung out of the pit he had thrown himself into. They could only watch, helpless, as he tore himself apart piece by piece, as he punished himself for a mistake he couldn’t undo.
"She deserved better," Jisung said, his voice breaking, his body curling in on itself like he was trying to disappear. "She deserved someone who could make her happy, who wouldn’t let her down. And I…I’m not that person. I’ll never be that person."
Felix’s breath hitched, his eyes welling with tears and a frustration he couldn’t hold back anymore.
"That's bullshit! How could you even...think something so- so...fucking idiotic!" He said struggling to find his words. His lips trmebled and then he began to cry. "You're an idiot Hyung!" He let out, not knowing how to properly voice his frustrations of seeing someone he cared for deeply ruinging himself. "The other members think it to." He snapped softly, rushing out of the room, Chan follwing to make sure he was okay, leaving Minho behind with Jisung.
He reached out, his fingers brushing against Jisung’s knee in a silent plea for him to stop, to stop hating himself, to stop pushing them all away. But Jisung didn’t react. He just lay there, eyes unfocused, lost in a world they couldn’t reach.
Minho swallowed hard, forcing back the tears that burned at the back of his throat. He wanted to tell Jisung that he was wrong, that he deserved to be loved, that he deserved happiness just as much as anyone else. And that you were what was best for him, that he shouldn't feel this way. But he knew it wouldn’t make a difference. No chance.
So all he could do was sit with him in the darkness, hoping that someday, somehow, he would find his way back to the light.
メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ𝟶メ
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